Sweetness and Sacrilege: The Best and Worst Covers You'll Hear
Music is getting duller, artists are getting lazier. It's going to be expected that all your favourite songs will be butchered at some point: its part of life, son. More often than not, the results are disappointing. But with the rain comes the rainbow: sometimes the results are downright better than the original! Well it's a rich rich tapestry so let's get started:
Best
"I Fought The Law"- The Clash
Original by The Crickets
Punk pioneers they are, what other song is more fitting than this? Joe & Co. give the rock'n'roll gem the anarchic treatment.
"Private Universe"- The Basics
Original by Crowded House
From one great Aussie band to another, The Basics have, in my experience, turned every tune they have covered into gold. Not that the songs themselves were not great before but, well, you know when you were a kid, and your folks took you to Maccas to get a Happy Meal, and being a kid, most of the joy of a Happy Meal is the cheap little toy you get with it. But the staff are lazy at Maccas that day, and you don't get your toy, your Barbie key ring brush, or mini racing car, as it were. And even though you enjoy the lardy goodness of the meal, you can't help but feel a little space missing for the toy that never was...ANYWAY, that's what The Basics do- make a good thing better! (See, I DID have a point).
"Without You"- Mariah Carey
Original by Badfinger
I don't care what anyone says, I loved Mariah Carey. Before she went all Mimi-from-the-block, she was a great balladeer, and this song is made stronger and more beautiful by those brilliant vocals of hers (where HAVE they gone?)
"I Love Rock and Roll"- Joan Jett
Original by The Arrows
Bet you didn't know this one was a cover? Strangely enough, the band that wrote that they loved rock and roll, really don't look like they do. They look like they love Andrew Lloyd Webber. But I digress, a rock classic guaranteed to get sing-a-longs anywhere. Thanks, Joan, love ya.
"Diamonds and Rust"- Blackmore's Night
Original by Joan Baez
A song that is so widely appreciated yet virtually unknown: even Judas Priest covered it. Blackmore's Night is, of course, Ritchie Blackmore's (of Deep Purple and Rainbow fame) most recent musical love child, led by stunning singer Candice Night and comprising more instruments than a doctor's surgery (zing! I'm here all week!), they're definitely interesting if nothing else. If you're looking for something a little bit different, but totally beautiful and mesmerizing, check these guys out. One word: Renaissance.
"Strange Little Girl"- Tori Amos
Original by The Stranglers
I almost never approve of a cover of a song I already love. I adore The Stranglers, and this song is a personal favourite, and when I found out Amos had covered it, I was more than hesitant. But my willingness to listen allowed me to realize she had not only covered the song but breathed new life into it. She gave it a new energy, I was suitably pleased, and now they both sit on my CD shelves, like ebony and ivory, living together in perfect harmony....but in CD form....shut up.
"Heartbeats"- Jose Gonzalez
Original by The Knife
I really thought I had had my fill of the acoustica thing. After watching Scrubs for an elongated period of time, you tire of the alternacoustic-oh-so-soulful-neutered-indie faff that almost always accompanies a slow walking scene. But this cover of the electro-pop tune takes the song to a whole new place, through Gonzalez's delicate vocals.
(NB: If you like the sort of acoustic-soul thing that Gonzalez goes for, give "Winter" by Joshua Radin a listen. It's quiet, but very beautiful. And where did I hear it first? Scrubs of course! It's the song playing during Jordan's brother's funeral where Coxy is crying like a bitch)
"Where Did You Sleep Last Night?"- Nirvana
Original by Leadbelly
Under all that flaneletted rage and teen angst, there laid a soulful bluesman. Kurt sang this blues classic during the Unplugged sessions and gave the world a new view of Mr Cobain: no longer the angry dropout layabout, now just a shattered man, who'd just been hurt too much.
That coulda been all the smack, though. Oh, Lisa, why'd ya have to ruin it!
"Hallelujah"- Jeff Buckley
Original By Leonard Cohen
We all know it. We all love it. Moving on.
"Genie In A Bottle"- Something for Kate
Original by Christina Teabaguilera
Done for Triple J radio, it never ceases to amuse. And surprise, too, considering how good of a song it turned out to be when put into the talented hands of Paul Dempsey. Brilliant if only for the lines; "I'm a genie in a bottle baby, you gotta rub me the right way honey....you gotta rub me, rub me, rub me, rub-a-dub-dub me..."
Worst
"American Pie"- Madonna
Original by Don Mclean
Ruin an American folk classic, will you, Madonna!? *slap!* get back to your own genre, you fake British beast!
"My Generation"- Hilary Duff
Original by The Who
The covering of the song aside, the Duff team also changed the lyrics from "Hope I die before I get old" to "Hope I don’t die before I get old". Going against the entire point and purpose of the song, it was a big hit with the 4-6 age bracket, but Hilary Duff is now wanted in 87 states.
"I Love Rock and Roll"- Britney Spears
Original by The Arrows
No, you really don't.
"Comfortably Numb"- Scissor Sisters
Original by Pink Floyd
A friend and I were once in HMV, innocently browsing as you do, when a familiar, yet strange beat filled the store. We listened intently, trying to decipher what the falsetto-friendly singer of super-camp Scissor Sisters was "singing". When he realized it was a shocking cover of an all-time favourite (his funeral song, in fact, you know how you have those?) he had to excuse himself and wait outside the store, out of ear shot, deeply disturbed by the horrifying cover. When I came out of the store, I found him sitting at a bench, eyes to the floor and head resting in his hands. That's just how goddamned wrong it is.
"All I Want for Christmas Is You"- My Chemical Romance
Original by Mariah Carey
Thanks for ruining the only Christmas song I like, dicks! Don you now your gay apparel!
"I Bet That You Look Good on the Dancefloor"- Sugababes
Original by Arctic Monkeys
One of the few bands to even half live up to the hype created for them, the Monkeys stormed the world with this indie-rock hit: and Sugababes grabbed it, raped it and queefed it out with a fake American accent (they're British too!) and laaaaame dance moves. Stick to glossy pop, 'Babes, where the words are small and so are the skirts.
(And the integrity! Zing! Thank you!)
"Closer"- Maroon 5, 30 Seconds To Mars
Original by Nine Inch Nails
The gall of the former 2 bands to think they could do this song justice. Maroon 5 have neither the talent nor testicular fortitude to even approach Trent Reznor. You need balls to sing this song, and Maroon 5 have no balls. Yes, folks, rip off their Gap jeans and all you get is fleshy mound- town. The 30 Seconds of Fame version is funny, if nothing else, because Jared "I cant believe you were in Fight Club and now you touch yourself on stage like a nancyboy" Leto must be off his tits every night with the sheer love in the air from his 14-year old girl fans. The screams than emanated when Leto grabbed his crotch during their butchering of this song were akin to a pre-pubescent hydrogen bomb. Lap it up, Leto, you can only stripper-pole the mic stand for so long before a real music fan kills you in your sleep.
"Heart Shaped Box"- Evanescence
Original by Nirvana
Don't cover Nirvana. It's like a rule.
"Love Will Tear Us Apart"- Fall Out Boy
Original by Joy Division
I almost cried. Not because of my attachment to the original, I do like it, but for the sheer raping the poor song received from Pat Stump's nasal, melody-less voice. Message for Patrick Stump: ENUNCIATE. And also you have a stupid name. Check it out on YouTube if you're curious. But remember, curiosity killed the cat. Or in this case, brain cells.
