Kyle Started A Joke Which Started The Whole World Crying
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Kyle Started A Joke Which Started The Whole World Crying




STUFF WE ALL KNOW

Resident radio entertainer-cum-shit-stirrer Kyle Sandilands is known for making people feel uncomfortable. He’s known for making a fair bit of money talking while not saying an awful lot. He’s also an institution. People have enjoyed his cheeky shtick since around 2005, and they’ll continue to do so until he’s unable to saunter to his daily plinth. Why?

Kyle says things others simply won’t. People find his shamelessness intensely entertaining, if not kind of valuable. Whether you love him or hate him, chances are you secretly like him a little bit. We all want to be able to spout kiddish nonsense as a means of feeding ourselves and to that end Sandilands sure is living well. I’m not saying he isn’t an arsehole, or an ignoramus, because Lord knows he’s owed expletives far worse. He’s a little clever in his way though. He knows what to say to get folks angry and they do. What we need to do is stop playing into his hands.

As part of his latest drama, which happened during the week, Sandilands laid some smack against the iridescent Lorde. I think he may have implied she was in on some lesbian action (nobody’s really sure still what he was getting at I declare) and she barred him. Greater blows have not been struck, right? Wrong.

KYLE ON LORDE, WASHINGTON ON KYLE, FLIES ON SHIT

So Megan Washington: Just let Kyle do his thing. Ignore him like you would an errant, shitty kid and he’ll be forced to move on. We get – the smart among us do anyway – that you’re unhappy with his commercial reach, and for the most part we are too. But you must understand his work carries no pretence of intelligence, and that’s kind of the omniscient point keeping him in a job. When you fight everything that he is, his persona, you’re fighting a guy unbeatable for all his giddy immaturity. You just can’t win. Pay him no mind, turn your radio dial to another station, and he ceases to exist. We’re smart folk, and we don’t let anybody know we’re stung. “It doesn’t befit the lion to talk with dogs” as they say.

Nonetheless, Washington and Lorde are fighting Kyle and their approach almost makes me want to advocate his devilish cause. Let me say I don’t agree with him but will indulge his ethos if for no other reason than because nobody else has and it could be bloody interesting.

KYLE IS THE ONLY ONE IN ON THE JOKE YOU GUYS

Say Sandilands went toe-to-toe with the likes of Bob Dylan. No, we don’t say that, because it just wouldn’t happen. It wouldn’t happen because Dylan exists independently of the drive-thru culture attached to most popular musicians. He’d probably act more amicably toward Sandilands because of this, kind of like you’d be amicable toward a gas-station attendant. Dylan – in a professional sense - lives, and unless you ask him about it, allows Kyle to live. They make their ways separately of one another, and effectively, they aren’t even part of the same industry.

Lorde, Washington: You yourselves come closer to looking silly when you call out Kyle on his bullshit. Washington? You weren’t even involved. Nobody appreciates self-righteous crusades against forces of idiocy. Oh, you don’t like Kyle? Nobody does, that’s the justification for his existence. It’s always easy to hate on somebody or something, but if you want to do the real damage I presume you do, just leave him be. Be good at what you do, for living well is a revenge exacted with the greatest effect.
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