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Douglas Fir - Douglas Fir




On first impression, Douglas Fir's eponymous release reminded me of one of those 1980's instructional music videos that I was unwillingly subjected to in my youth. Watching over my older brother's shoulder while he was learning to play slap bass with Louis Johnson, while I, meanwhile was champing at the bit, Mickey Mouse cartoon video in hand, waiting for him to finish with the VCR (this was in the days when most homes only had one television and once VCR , I know most of you kiddies are too young to remember those days of sacrifice). My point with this long-winded and admittedly fairly pointless metaphor is that whilst the playing on this EP is technically precise and metronome perfect; it is also completely forgettable.

  

After five songs of pretty much the same riff, I am at a loss to describe any detail inherent in any of the tracks. I am sure they are there, but I am completely buggered if I can find them. Every track has the same freight-train pace, the same slap bass arrangement (he was paying attention to his Louis Johnson instructional video) and the same inane and vacuous lyrics.

  

I am aware that I am being somewhat harsh in my estimation of Douglas Fir and I will be the first to concede that it might be just me and its just not my type of music and quite frankly, I just don't get it. I do not for a moment claim to be the arbiter of all that is cool, worthwhile and what the kids should be listening to nowadays. I will also concede that this EP may not be at all indicative of what Douglas Fir are capable of and their best and most varied work ended up on the studio floor with the empty Twisties packets and gaffer tape. Despite my mood for concession, I can only judge Douglas Fir on what I have sitting in front of me; the finished EP, and based on that I have some advice, whether they chose to take it, is completely up to them.

  

Douglas Fir; put away the old Living Colour and early Faith No More CD's, loosen up a little, invest in a thesaurus or rhyming dictionary and come back to me in a year or two. I sincerely hope you make me eat my words of criticism with the most cracker album I ever had the pleasure of hearing.

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